A note to my former and current students:
Just want to say thank you again for today's cake and all the arrangements. I hope you all had a good time, though some of you left in the last 30 mins when I wanted to say something about Elephant (the movie) to prepare you guys for the context. Anyway, there's no point to highlight anything when half of the class wasn't there. I'll pick it up when we meet again in Year of the Horse.
I actually hesitate to write the following message, but I think honesty should play a role in personal development, if not merely in education. I was just told by upper management that I did not really get along with students because of my personalities. I found it absurd because that happened after our warm party. I do not know how I am read as a teacher in HKIEd, but I know I am probably different from others. I am neither proud nor ashamed of it. This is just who I am. But I am offended when ungrounded things were circulated as if they're the truths and used to mark down my service at the institute.
I am not here to be liked. I am here to make knowledge interesting and hopefully you can go further from where I leave you. But the upper management does not seem to notice it. I am recently meeting a few students in person because they're interested in English poetry writing. I treasured the chance and offered what I could and will continue.
When I was a student, I did not connect with all professors. This is actually a harmless universal truth. But I do not see how this can mean the professor is not caring. Well, I may not be caring as a mother (and I should not because I am really not!), but then I think I offered as much help as possible, when I was approached actively, sincerely and reasonably.
Sometimes I do have problems dividing my time and energy equally to all courses and everyone. Last semester, I had 5 groups of 3 courses and altogether 200 students. This semester: 3 groups of 3 courses and altogether ~120. One's brain can crack easily like a fortune cookie in this case. The workload is wearing me down, really.
So after reading this message, IF (and ONLY IF) you're the one of fewer heads out there feeling you have been inspired and motivated to dig into something called knowledge, or books or films, I will appreciate if you can write directly to upper management (department, faculty, institute, whatever) to let them know their ungrounded assumption about me is wrong. It's to clear the misconception about how I am perceived. You have to believe that your words are times more powerful than what I say or have said. A teacher cannot really defend himself better than students' words. This is quite sad to me. And it has another name: reality.
Hope you all have a productive Chinese New Year break.
Nic
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